Ask QuestionsĪsking questions is a great way to show you’re engaged in the conversation. If you need to interject, try using phrases like “Can I jump in for a moment?” or “I’d like to add something to that.” This shows that you’re respectful of their time and their thoughts. But when you allow someone to speak uninterrupted, you activate the prefrontal cortex, which promotes cognitive and emotional regulation. This is referred to as having your amygdala hijacked because the abrupt interjection sends an alarm through the brain and triggers an emotional response. Research has shown that when you interrupt someone, you activate the amygdala, the part of your brain responsible for fight-or-flight responses. Even if you think you know what they’re going to say, let them finish their thought before jumping in. And interrupting someone is a surefire way to show you’re not really listening to them. Most people lock onto a point and wait for their turn to speak. For example, if someone says, “I’m really struggling with this project at work,” you could respond with, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed with your workload right now.” Paraphrasing helps avoid misunderstandings and reassures the person talking that you are engaged in what they are saying. You can practice repeating what they said to show that you understand. This led to more productive and meaningful conversations. They were more likely to view the conversation as positive and they were more likely to actively listen in return. A Japanese study found that individuals who believed someone was actively listening to them had their reward system activated. Research shows that when you use nonverbal cues to signal your engagement in a discussion, the speaker is more likely to feel understood and validated. You can show you’re invested in what they’re saying through nonverbal cues like nodding, making eye contact, and leaning in when throughout the conversation. It’s being an active participant in the conversation. Show Your InterestĪctive listening isn’t just hearing what someone is saying. The more you’re able to stay in the moment, the better you’ll be at active listening. You can also practice mindfulness through daily meditation and journaling. Try things like turning off your phone, silencing your notifications, and simply be present. This takes a lot of practice, so you want to do this throughout the day. Take a few deep breaths and clear your mind of everything except what you want to focus on. One way to strengthen your attention is by practicing mindfulness. This strengthens these areas, improving not only your communication skills, but your focus, concentration, problem-solving, and more. Research shows that when you pay attention to someone, you activate the prefrontal cortex of your brain, the area responsible for decision-making, attention, and other complex cognitive behaviors. To be an active listener, you want to tune out all those distractions and focus on the person in front of you. The pings and dings from social media, texts, emails, and more are constantly disrupting your focus and drawing your attention away. This might seem obvious, but actively paying attention is harder than it sounds. You can’t listen if you aren’t paying attention. How can you improve your active listening skills? Here are a few tips, backed by research. Researchers believe that synchronization promotes empathy and understanding in people. This means that the listener’s brain was processing the story in a way that mirrored the speaker’s brain. One study conducted at the University of California, Berkeley found that when participants listened to a speaker recount a personal story, their brain activity synchronized with the speaker. Research has shown that when you actively listen to someone, you activate several areas of the brain. It’s about fully engaging with the person in front of you by showing them you care about what they’re saying. Truly listening to someone is not just nodding along and waiting for your turn to speak. And science agrees.Īctive listening is the art of really hearing what someone is saying. One of the most important skills you can develop to improve your productivity, creativity, and relationships is active listening.
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